You Do A LITTLE Swagger But Trip On Your Toes

Are you ready for my part of the quickie for this week?

I was stuck in the loo twice, out of it once.(Looonnnnnggggg story)

I can successfully communicate with my roommate!

I lost my voice for a day. It was really frustrating. ):

I have so MUCH HOMEWORK! ):

Nothing much for the week. Other than shifting in. HAVING LOADS of work to attend to for NOW. Moral quiz next week.

I’m a lousy blogger. Period.

Democracy is sometimes all just a popularity contest. And the planet we call earth isn’t a perfect sphere. Not everyone does an awesome first impression job. And my retainers are punishing me. (*waaseiiii*)

I wore a jacket, green top, shorts and sneakers for the SASA barbecue (great event, awesome people!) which was held at Rivercity Condo (pretty nice place) and I AM thinking of running/ jogging around the car park area too! (similar to another student who jogs) Not that the former has anything to do with the latter.

Dear Voice, Please Come BACK!

Dear Heart, Please Be Still!

DEAR CHINESE NEW YEAR COOKIES, stop fattening me!

DEAR COOKIES AND BUTTER COOKIES, IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT MY TUMMY FOLDS when I sit down.

And lastly,

A random shoutout:

GO BIRU!! (:

ps: Woahh, this was like cutting and pasting weird and odd thoughts that were scattered around my mini chugging engine. \

Cakes are like rainbows. Except you get to eat them!

*stars!* and moon!

Guess who’s in college?

Guess who has done her nails? (Thanks to her group-mates)

Guess who had her first driving class? (With a Mandarin speaking instructor)

Guess who’s shifting and staying out of home during the weekdays? (:

Stars and Moon! Have I grown up! (Reminds me of “Who Painted the Moon Black”)

Kai Boon, I’ll be that grannie in no time!

Gosh, I feel like throwing confetti.

Randomness!

We only got 86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or throw it all away

“Gotta Live Like We’re Dying!” – Kris Allen

Paint Me In Your Sunshine

“Ay me, how weak a thing. The heart of woman is!”

Portia, Act 2 Scene 4 Julius Caesar, William Shakespeare.

The Truth is that I’m afraid of being bored. I’m scared of being in a routine. I’m petrified with the thought of being tired of living. And that life would cease to be meaningful. That every single thing that passes me by, becomes mundane. That everything valued, will crumble and turn to nothing but mere dust.

The Truth is that nothing is perpetual (which is a pity). That nothing exists forever. And that everything that we see now is temporary.

The Truth is that She stands in such complexity that if you try to pry her to reveal her insecurities there is nothing to hide but more fear.

The Truth is that I’ve seen and heard.

Do listen to what I tell you.

For this is the truth.

Time waits for no one.

How long can you wait?

We’ll Live Like Jack and Sally If We Want

I dislike it when I sit down in front of the computer and do NOTHING else other than reading people’s blogs and facebook profiles.

I like it when I get to sit down (with my legs crossed) in a room with something to munch on and read a really good book.

I dislike it when I feel hungry AFTER placing my retainers into my mouth.

I like eating chocolate.

I dislike having something in mind to blog about but losing the “mojo” to blog about the something I wanted to blog about earlier on.

Ah well. (:

Ra ra oh La (WAAAAA)

O-la! (:

Louise was so right about me not being able to have a proper blogging hiatus. I guess I’ve not come up to the stage where I COMPLETELY loose my blogging mojo. Which is good, is it not?

I am officially approaching the end of my third week of college and the whole college routine is sucking every bit of life in me. If I had any chance of describing college in one word to the world, I would scream out loudly, “DEMANDING!”.

College is demanding physically.

Especially if you are studying in HELP UNIVERSITY COLLEGE. IF you are taking the A Levels programme, the building you study in unfortunately is located around 150 ++meters from the front entrance. So if you are late for class regularly, brisk walking would be a  great advice and you can now cancel out your exercise note in your new nice black daily planner.

Eating in HELP is also no laughing matter. The strategic location of the possible eating places like the cafeterias and cafes are located at least 150 meters away from the building. THAT’S a 300 meters distance covered if you eat your lunch everyday. Whoever said that college food is expensive was NOT kidding too. So if you really want to save up, drink water! And avoid the unnecessary output flow of cash.

It is also NOT easy to find a car park in HELP. Zean Shiung (the really nice guy who is willing to drive me to HELP and safely back home) usually parks in a building which is a good 500 meters away from the entrance of KPD (the cluster of buildings where I study). Unless you are Amber Chia, flats or sport shoes are the most practical and non suicidal way to be mobile!

HELP is also quite famous for her shuttle buses. But mind you, in the “REAL WORLD” I have NEVER ever ever ever ever EVER (I think you get my point) seen ANY guy give up his seat to a girl. SERIOUSLY. Except for the occasion when I gave a very obvious suggestion to Prashanth and Zean Shiung during Orientation Day and when Zean Shiung voluntarily gave up his seat to a girl. Now, the poor Government and the mothers and fathers in the Malaysia have to restructure the educating and nurturing process because EVERYONE is sometimes obscenely rude. It is also  physically demanding to get ONTO the bus because THERE IS NO line and we, students usually move in herds.

College is MENTALLY DEMANDING.

If I was given another chance to scream out another word to label my college life, I would say “TEMPTING”. Temptation is always everywhere but when to compared to HIGH SCHOOL, temptation becomes more prominent and BOLDER in college. Temptation in what ways?

Expenditure. Everyone (somehow) spends like millionaires in college. Coffee Bean plastic cups are a regular sight and food is expensive (gee, I’m repeating points).

RE LA (LA OH LA LA) tionship. Everyone is pairing up. SERIOUSLY. You will have someone holding someone’s hand in the lift OR cuddling together in a corner then when you realise that they ARE having that little “moment” together, you quickly look away feeling REALLY awkward. And everyone’s ogling over the opposite gender. College is bursting with two legged mammals reeking with hormones.

Whooops! Time to prepare myself for college! Great, I’ll continue this post another time.

I think I forgot to mention,

College IS fun. And the fact that you’re going to stay alone and independently during the weekdays is just as exciting.

“College IS really fun. Like running your dog around the neighbourhood, it is pretty tiring too “

I need to keep my head on.

Strength

If we crawl ’till we can walk again
And we’ll run
Until we’re strong enough to jump
And we’ll fly until there is no end

Chris Brown – Crawl

Praise God for awesome family members.

Who stick beside you through thick and thin.

Praise God for wonderful friends.

Who listen patiently to your heart’s rant.

Praise God for the littlest of things that come by unnoticed.

A Chapter Closed.

You can’t have it all your way.

Sometimes.

Life is not a bed of roses.

Usually.

But I can count on Him.

Always.

Facebook rated my leadership skills as a follower. That would pretty much explain why I dislike making choices. Coffee or tea? Sugar or Milk? Where do you want to go? Where do you want to eat? Sometimes, when I make my decision, I avoid reflecting on the choice chosen. It gets to painful to view the other possibilities that I could have picked and gambled with. Then again, I would not like anyone dictate my life other than myself (and God of course).

Maybe in these options, insecurity lies like a predator. Change involves adaptability. Go with the flow or get left behind. No one likes being the last in a race or being “ditched” by their friends. That’s why we usually let our character to be moulded by our surroundings. IN this case, being an adolescent, “She’s wearing this.I’ll wear this too. I’ll do my hair this way cause it looks pretty” (I don’t want my self esteem to be directly related to my clothings!) Along the way, we loose ourselves and our identity. Looking at how sometimes, some people change so drastically, I wear a mask to hide my incompetence and avoid mixing around too much fearing that I would turn like “one of them”.

My awareness is all I have for myself. That’s why I protect it. Like how a mother protects her child. I understand that IF I let my guard down and cave in by allowing myself to be just like “one of them”, I might loose everything I know and plunge into darkness, giving in to peer pressure.

There lies the irony. As much as I dislike making choices (especially in a group), I am a complainer. I analyse everything. (unfortunately, not my spelling or grammar, but let’s leave that for another day) From the usual academic books to relationships and timing. From this, I usually will produce my version of the “best option/decision”. In a new crowd, I place myself in silence. I attempt to learn as much as I can about the new environment I am in. A typical survival skill we all practice every single day, consciously and unconsciously. But I have to admit, I try not to change.

Sometimes I ponder on my level of maturity. Should I linger with this crowd of people? How would it reflect on my personality if I became a “one man’s island” person? Am I mature?

Life does not always happen the way I want it to be.

It is never fair. Some kids always get what they want. Be it an object, or something which is not an object like regular hanging out sessions, all the debate competitions and luxurious vacations. As a child I loved to linger around that stationary department imagining that I owned all the stuff on the shelves. Ten years from then, I understand that we can never be satisfied with what we have. Humans are just plain materialistic. In my first economics class, I learn about scarcity, “limited resources against unlimited wants and desires”. I just have to deal with this problem by looking at it with as much maturity as possible. If my parents had/were to grant my every wish, then I would be spoilt. I would not understand that, not everyone is born as “Aladin” who was fortunate enough to find a lamp with a humongous blue genie. I would not have learn that you can’t always get what you want in.

Opportunity cost is another term I was taught in economics. It is the value of the next best alternative that is foregone. If I were to opt of A, then I cannot have B. In making this difficult decision, we need to  study the potential effects that would be left due to our decision, both short term and long term. Then after this choice, it is a leap of faith. Escaping from the chains of insecurity and exposing ourselves leaving us vulnerable as we are no longer within our comfort zone.

We make best with what we have and do without.

We move along.

So, here I am, letting go of my plans since high school. Into the unknown.

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.

-Walt Disney

After much thinking, I ate my last few bites of the thick sloppy sandwich I had in my hands. Barely one week into the year and I have made up my mind.

I’ll be on a blogging-break.

I have successfully (probably) gotten a friend mad/upset. I have been selfish and ignorant. I keep leaving friends behind. I need to study. If anyone in my class is going to be the geek, I will be that person. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut even if my emotions are boiling. I will stop snapping whenever I get upset.

Interesting enough, this is my 100th post.

ps: Do you know I can borrow 4 books from the HELP library? Now that IS a library!